


if i can be honest

by stebeee



Category: HIStory3 - 圈套 | HIStory3: Trapped
Genre: F/M, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Trapped Side Character Love, h3trappedcollection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:54:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23852662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stebeee/pseuds/stebeee
Summary: Hong Ye doesn’t remember when she started to like Dao Yi. She does remember every single time he rejects her through the years though.
Relationships: Gu Dao Yi/Zuo Hong Ye
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35
Collections: Side Character Love





	if i can be honest

**Author's Note:**

> For @florbexter’s April writing collection!

Hong Ye doesn’t remember when she started to like Dao Yi.

All she knows is that one moment she and Ah Yi were losing in a fight against some high schoolers, and in the next, they were saved by two men. One of them was visibly older than the other and while Ah Yi spoke to him, Hong Ye found her eyes drawn to the uncle with shining golden hair. He wasn’t looking at her or Ah Yi, his hands stuffed into his pockets and chewing on some gum, scuffing his shoe against the ground.

When he looked up, Hong Ye was staring right at him. For a moment, they continued their staring match and Hong Ye supposed she should be scared of this man, who looked so unfriendly and cold.

And then he smiled at her. It was a small one, but Hong Ye felt her eyes widening as she saw it.

The rest of the days after that are some of the happiest she can remember. Having a roof over their heads, an actual shower, her very own room that had the softest bed she ever slept on, all the food she could ever want and the best part? Things that belonged to her - not just scraps handed down to her in the orphanage, things that were actually hers, that were bought _just for her_ , that she didn’t have to snatch from other kids and guard to keep lest someone else stole them while she was asleep.

While Ah Yi spent time with Tang- _ye_ , Hong Ye preferred to follow after the blond uncle, Dao Yi _shushu._ It helped that Tang- _ye_ had tasked Dao Yi with taking care of her, but in the first two weeks, Hong Ye wasn’t sure what to do with herself, and the next best thing seemed simply to be to trail in Dao Yi’s footsteps.

Dao Yi _shushu_ was with her from then on, and now that she thinks about it, it must have been strange for him then to go from being a high-ranking member of one of Taiwan’s most notorious gangs to babysitter, teacher, bodyguard and more for a little girl in one fell swoop, just like that. In her memory, however, Dao Yi _shushu_ was nothing but kind to her, showering her with both attention and utmost care. 

It was important to Hong Ye then, that Dao Yi looked at her and saw _her_ for who she was and also had no expectations for her. He didn’t expect her to be good or obedient, though he did frown disapprovingly when she did something unkind, and patiently taught her why she should have said or did something different. He never once said that she had to do something because other children her age were doing the same, and he listened when she told him she didn’t want to do something, taking her dislikes and fears seriously.

And when she did something good, like scoring well for her tests in school, or when she helped out a classmate from getting bullied, he always had a warm smile and praise for her. His huge hand would pat her on the head, and then he’d take her to her favourite ice-cream store.

At that time, all Hong Ye wished for was to have Dao Yi _shushu_ at her side for ever and ever, and she told him so.

“I like you so much, Dao Yi _shushu,_ ” she said to him often, afraid that she would lose all of this. “You’ll be by my side forever, right?”

The man would chuckle softly and reply, “Thank you, Da _xiaojie._ Unless Da _xiaojie_ tells me to go, I’ll be right here whenever you need me.”

The fondness she felt for him back then was definitely very different from the way she felt about him later on.

Of course, her Dao Yi _shushu_ had his own things to do, be it gang business outside, or supervising the other brothers in the family. He never missed accompanying for breakfast (though he refused to sit down at the table with her) and was perfectly punctual in sending her to school, picking her up, and then following her to all her extra classes and wherever she wanted to go after.

===

When she grew older, Hong Ye started getting uncomfortable when Dao Yi _shushu_ stopped spending as much time with her as he did before. Now that she was able to take care of herself and plans to reform Xing Tian Meng began, he was busier than ever. Chauffering her up and down became the duty of some other brother, and she hardly saw him for breakfast anymore. 

Dinners were always spent with Tang- _ye_ and Ah Yi, and when Dao Yi could make it, he would stand a little further away, not joining them at the table in deference to Tang-ye’s authority and position even if the old man never asked for it. Hong Ye couldn’t talk to him then either.

===

When she was 15, Hong Ye confessed to her Dao Yi _shushu_ for the very first time.

He smiled at her first, like the many times he had done before, because in all the years since she and Ah Yi turned up at the Tang manor, how many times had she told him she liked him? Too many to count.

She knew she felt differently now, after a boy in her class confessed to her in the afternoon.

Dao Yi _shushu_ was confused then, as she tried to explain herself. At the end of it, he laughed and told her to be careful when dating other boys outside, and that studying was more important.

Hong Ye remembers stomping off to her room in anger that evening, and refused to speak to him for a week after.

===

When she was 16, Hong Ye tried again, making sure to tell him that it wasn’t that kind of ‘like’, but a different kind. The kind where she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, not wanting to be apart from him, ever.

The next day, Dao Yi turned up for weekend lunch with his girlfriend.

Not even Ah Yi had understood why she lost her temper that day, demanding to know why Dao Yi was doing this to her. Clearly that wasn’t the best thing to do in front of an audience no less, but all she saw was the person she liked rejecting her in such a cruel manner.

That woman stayed, and Hong Ye never knew that heartbreak could feel like this. 

===

When she was 18, she left for New York for university, not wanting to see Dao Yi and his girlfriend together. 

Hong Ye knew how ridiculous she was being, but she couldn’t help but resent Dao Yi. It wasn’t his fault that she liked him, and of course the man was entitled to start his own family for real especially now as most of their businesses were shifting towards the legal side, which meant he didn’t have to look over his shoulder, afraid that his way of life might end up hurting someone he loved.

She understood it, and hated it at the same time. For herself, Hong Ye decided to just leave the country altogether because no one said she had to be happy for Dao Yi and his girlfriend of almost two years in person. This way, she wouldn’t make things awkward when Dao Yi turned up for family dinners.

Out of sight, and hopefully out of mind.

She loved the big city and the people, and sitting in cafes watching as the world walked by was entirely cathartic. Hong Ye made a huge bunch of friends in her university, going to classes and acing most of them, and even joining a hiking club. On weekends, her friends drove them out to some national park or the other outside of the state.

Hong Ye even dated a few times, even if nothing came out of it.

It was when she got into a car accident the next year that she saw Dao Yi again. Nothing too serious in her opinion, but her concussion, broken collarbone, bruised ribs and a torn meniscus in her left knee said otherwise. While she was unconscious, the hospital called her emergency contact, who called her family. Emily tells her that she called someone named ‘Ah Yi’ on her phone, knowing that the man was her brother from the weekly calls she makes to him, even if Hong Ye never once mentioned him to her.

Relief slammed into Hong Ye as she heard that, and tears welled up in her eyes lying on the hospital bed, her neck stuck in a brace. She missed home like nothing else, missing family dinners with _Lao_ Tang, missing having Ah Yi to rely on and-

And she missed Dao Yi, who at some point was never a few feet further from her at all times, ready to catch her if she so much as tripped over her own feet. She couldn't help but think that if Dao Yi was here, she never would have ended up like this, despite how ridiculous that sounded in her head.

When she woke up next, it was to see Tang Yi seated in the chair next to her bed, his hand in hers.  Hong Ye burst into tears then, waking her brother up.

Tang Yi checked her over, his eyes darkening at the purpling bruises and mottled skin where he could see them, but it hurt so much.

Then something moved in the corner of her eye, and Hong Ye looked up, only to see Dao Yi standing near the door, hanging back. His eyes, however, were trained on her. She startled, because despite everything, he was the last person she thought she would see here.

Hong Ye couldn’t remember the last time Dao Yi looked at her directly without averting his eyes shortly after.

They didn’t speak, but Dao Yi stepped forward, and in his hand laid a tiny tub of ice cream. Peppermint chocolate, her favourite.

Hong Ye cried even more at that.

She managed to skype _Lao_ Tang while Tang Yi held his phone up, and she didn’t even know how much she missed them until she saw all of them again.

Later, Dao Yi fed her the ice-cream by the spoonful.

Much to her surprise, he didn’t leave. Not even after she was discharged and needed some help in her apartment afterwards. Not when Ah Yi returned to Taipei. Not even after her knee was functioning well again, when she went back to classes a few weeks later.

When she asked, Dao Yi said, “Tang- _ye_ and I were discussing opening a branch in the US before your accident. I’ll be staying here to supervise the new branch, and… I’ll be here for Da _Xiaojie,_ as long as you let me.”

He’d been staying in her guest room until now.

“What about… your girlfriend?” mumbled Hong Ye, crossing her arms. “If she comes visit…”

“I don’t have a girlfriend anymore.”

Hong Ye blinked, surprised. Then she bites at her lips and replies, “I don’t need you to take care of me. I’ve been surviving fine on my own, haven't I?”

Dao Yi handed her a pair of chopsticks, settling into the seat opposite hers with his own dinner. 

“No, but I’d like to do it regardless. Please let me stay at your side, Da _xiaojie._ ”

They didn't raise the subject up again in their time in New York.

Hong Ye didn’t try again so soon, but over the course of the next few years, after she got over the hurt she felt with Dao Yi’s rejections, she tried again.

And of course she was rejected again, but Hong Ye was getting used to it. She was also very sure that Dao Yi felt differently for her, and she was going to change his mind, no matter how long it took.

===

A few years later, after _Lao_ Tang’s death, Hong Ye tasted despair the likes of which she hadn’t felt since she was 16. That was the last straw, in the carpark, all her vulnerabilities laid bare for him to see.

This was the last time. After so many years, at some point, she had to give up, right? And now was the time for it. Dao Yi became Dao Yi _shushu_ again, and Hong Ye swore that she wouldn’t look back. She admitted that going for the blind date at Tang Yi’s suggestion was more spiteful than not on her part, but the man turned out to be likeable. 

He was potentially someone she could be with.

Hong Ye wasn’t as thick-skinned to keep throwing herself at a man who would never come to love her.

Of course, Dao Yi would pick the moment she finally gave up on him to come around. 

Now that Hong Ye thinks about it, it was quite terrible of Dao Yi to pick an underground _carpark_ of all places to confess to her at. The good thing was they had privacy, but it was still a carpark.

How many confessions did she give in order to receive just this one? Hong Ye can remember confessing at least 26 times, and every single time Dao Yi rejected her. Not to mention the times she tried to flirt with him after in New York, when they came back to Taipei… and was always clearly rebuffed by the stubborn man-

A kiss lands on her cheek, and a familiar voice sounds in her ear, “What’re you thinking about? You’ve been staring at your ring for a while.”

Her engagement ring, sitting right on her fourth finger. Dao Yi gave it to her yesterday, asking the big question in some elaborate, planned affair while Meng Shao Fei that bumbling idiot tried to take photos without dropping the camera.

If Ah Yi wasn’t in prison, he would have been there too.

“Just thinking how many times I tried to ask you out and you rejected me,” Hong Ye smiles, turning to look at her now fiancé.

Dao Yi’s lips curve in amusement, although his eyes betray how apologetic he still feels about _some_ of it.

“You never gave up,” he says softly.

“Of course I couldn’t give up! I’ve liked you for so many years,” Hong Ye rolls her eyes. “No matter how many times you rejected me I kept on coming back, didn’t I?”

It’s a familiar conversation.

“Was it worth it?”

Hong Ye launches herself at the man, who picks her up easily. 

Kissing him firmly on the lips, she says, “I asked you out so many times, and you asked me to marry you yesterday, so I think we’re even.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to write a Hong Ye/Dao Yi piece since last year, and so here it is to get it off my chest XD Granted, not my best piece of work but all my love to this couple <3


End file.
